i'm baked.

i've been baking ... a lot. almost every day, for the past few weeks - and i've gained a lot of weight ever since too. which is depressing to think about - so yesterday i decided that i need to 'seriously' stop. but then i started thinking about the cream cheese and the whip cream that i just bought - so i need to do something with that first, before i stop; before i make myself hate baking ... for a bit.

i'm trying to cope with my study - i just started. a lot of new unfamiliar terms. i just found out what it is exactly - and it's much more interesting than i've expected. i'm studying behavioral learning that involves a lot of studies on cognitive psychology. i'm like 'oh my god i'm so gonna be really struggling but so happy at the same time!'. dreams do come true.

and i've been applying for a new job too. and i'm not thinking kuching, anymore. i can't stay - i do not have an exact reason of why - but i know i can't stay. my first interview will be this friday, at bangsar south.

i'm excited, i tell you that. but i'm scared, really scared. my dad was informed, but i'm pretty sure he's not totally not ok with it. and mom, i'm not there yet - but i'm sure how that will turn out to be. not pretty - but i'll be okay. couple of tears shed is nothing in comparison to the future right? right.

if i want to do this, i'm going to be strong - really strong on my own. so, do you still wonder why i've been baking alot? i thought it was an escape - but no it's not. it's something else.