stinks.

she wanted him to stay

but she needed assurance.

she showed him the way out ...

and hoped he would not go there.

"that day i watched him leave 

and it hit me somewhere

about five inches beneath my ribcage -

it stinks ... like a lot."

she wanted him to stay 
but only if he wants to.

there were times she wished 
she didn't show him the way ...

but she knew that 
he'd find it anyway.

"he saved me -
the only one who could
tame my anxieties. 
and this ... stinks.
missing him like this, 
seriously stinks."